Letting go

Audio version

 

I know you want what’s best for me,
Pass my exams, earn my degree,
Get a job, pay my student loan,
Fall in love, buy a home.

I know you want me to succeed,
But what does that look like,
For not you,
But me?

Maybe I’ll run away to a zoo,
Go to New York, dye my hair blue,
Or work in a bar, kicking out drunks,
Shave my head, become a monk.

Maybe I’ll play guitar in a band,
Lie on a beach, dig my toes in the sand.
The point is I guess, I have no idea,
Of how I’ll turn out, or even where.

I ‘get’ why you might want it all mapped out,
Tick all the boxes, leave no room for doubt,
But I’m not one of those kids, who knows their path,
Not driven towards any ‘God given’ task.

However, I do know, wherever I land,
I’ll have tried the hardest I possibly can.
I’ll make dumb mistakes, one or ten,
And probably make some all over again.

But they’ll be my mistakes,
My lessons learned,
My stormy seas,
And tides to turn.

I’ll try not to be too stupid of course,
Remember the advice and wisdom you taught,
Keep my head straight and follow my heart,
Be grateful for your wonderful start.

Now you can let go, dismiss the guard,
Relax the reins, I’m taking charge,
I probably won’t choose what you want me to do,
But however it goes,
I’ll always love you.

Don’t feel sad in my empty room,
Who knows, I could be back in it soon!
As I step into my adult shoes,
Just have faith in me
And love me too.

© Lisa Nimmo 08/06/16

 

Lisa Nimmo is an author, poet and mum of two teenagers, based in Wellington New Zealand. To receive more poems like these direct to your inbox, enter your details here:

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