Leaving Home

Audio version

 

I had all kinds of fantasies
About today,
Standing on the side of the road,
Waiting for our futures to arrive,
On a big green bus.

I hug you for the longest time,
Stroke the caramel curls,
Trailing down your back,
And breath you in.
Then, you go.

After all these years of telling you
To make your bed,
Do the dishes,
And get out of the shower because
Thirteen minutes really IS enough
to wash your hair AND shave your legs,
It’s over.

If only our futures could arrive,
Without you having to leave.

Tomorrow looks a little different,
Tidier, more empty,
Rainbow chaos turned to silence.
I remember craving such solitude,
Now I have it, and I don’t want it.
I want you.

You and your messy teenage madness,
Telling me I’m old and fat and slow,
As we run for the bus,
Laughing, wishing we’d got up earlier,
But for that Netflix show that,
kept us wide eyed,
Till midnight.

Without you,
Now there is no bus, no morning rush,
Just the promise of an empty day,
And a million possible ways to fill it.
I think of you,
Traveling into your new life,
And I think about my own,
It looks completely different from yours,
But in a way, the same.

Adventure, Freedom, Reinvention,
There for the taking, Or not.
We gave each other the moon,
But the moon cannot compete,
With the Universe and its stars,
Infinite and unexplored,
Calling you to find your place among them,
And for me, to find mine.

© Lisa Nimmo 22/05/19

Lisa Nimmo is an author, poet and mum of two teenagers, based in Wellington New Zealand. To receive more poems like these direct to your inbox, enter your details here:

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